Friday, November 18, 2011

Dear Plastic Surgeon: Shut Up

Take me and break me Here's something bleeped up that The Frugal Hostess received: a press release that contains a purported mathematical formula for beauty.  There are so many things wrong with this that she can barely begin to count them.

It says, "Designed with you in mind, Dr. Francis Palmer, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, created The Palmer Code. His code allows us to understand, through scientific methods, what is considered truly beautiful and attractive. Palmer breaks down the factors of beauty into a numbers game." [Emphasis added because, really?  Really?  "Science"???  Screw you, Francis Palmer.]

Here's la formula:

Your face represents 50% of your overall appearance.
  • The softer lines of an oval or heart shaped face are preferable for women.
  • Ideal eyes are well defined and free of extra skin or fatty tissue. Eyes are also the first to show signs of aging.
  • The nose should have a 140 degree angle between the nasal bridge and the forehead.  It should be sleek and unobserved, drawing attention to the eyes, lips and cheeks.
  • Lips are also crucial for women, and are most appealing when the top lip is 75% of the size of the lower lip. A full pout is most attractive.
The structure of your body equates to 30% of your physical features.
  • The most important part of your overall physical appearance is your upper-to-lower body ratio. Women should have an upper body (40%) to lower body (60%) average. This reflects a body with longer legs.
  • For those with larger upper body ratios, you can lower this percentage by simply tucking in your shirt and adding a belt, or even wearing a pair of high heels to give the look of a smaller/shorter upper body. Hair waisted pants, dark colors also give a lengthening look.
Skin is approximately 10% of your whole outer self.
  • Skin cancer is the fastest growing cancer in the U.S.
  • To keep your skin healthy, and to avoid pollutants and free radicals from causing serious damage, apply a UVA/UVB SPF 30+ sun tan lotion daily
Your hair is worth 10% of your whole look.
  • Getting bangs is an easy fix for any facial imperfections like a high forehead, full eyelids, wrinkled forehead, less-than-ideal eyebrows.
  • Bangs will frame your eyes and cheeks while hiding your less attractive features.

What kind of fucked up science is this?  The implication is, of course, that if you don't fit within this formula, you should make an appointment with a plastic surgeon to correct your deficiencies.

Ladies, please ignore this nonsense.


  1. Cool. I want a blow up doll made from that formula :-p

  2. This made me feel sick to my stomach. Ugh. And people wondered why I hated living in L.A. It's filled with evil people like this messed up Dr. Palmer. The AMA condones this?

  3. You think that's good, you should check out the study where they figured out the ideal breast shape. (Do you think it was a plastic surgeon who did the study? You are perceptive, aren't you.)

  4. Obviously outwardly false. It might be able to define the most popular perception of beauty, but from the varying tastes opinions and likes of the demographic accross the world, you can't simply narrow it down to one.

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