Monday, May 17, 2010

Ten Ways to Make Sure You'll Never Get Invited Again

To Whom it May Concern:

Below please find a list of surefire ways to get blacklisted at The Frugal Homestead.

1.  Announce what time you will be coming to a party, instead of coming when you are invited or declining the invitation.

2.  Tell your hosts that you can't make dinner but will come for drinks, despite not having been invited for drinks.

3.  Bring your own cocktail in a plastic cup.

4.  Insult Alton Brown, barbecue, and everything else that is holy.

5.  Claim that a different ingredient would dramatically improve a recipe your host is preparing.

6.  Mention to another guest that your hostess looks pregnant. 

7.  Proclaim that the music is terrible and change it.

8.  Stay indefinitely, despite having arranged in advance to leave before dinner is served.

9.  Be as anti-social as you can, ignoring the room full of hors d' oeuvre and candlelight to sit in a corner in another room.

10.  Suck.


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  1. Oh you poor thing FruHo! Don't you love guests who crap all over the food you worked so hard on?

    My sympathies for having put up with these people for this long already.

  2. Dear FruHo,

    As Grandpa used to say, "what do you expect from a hog but a grunt?"

    As Emily Post used tos say, "Cut them dead."

  3. Ooh, I don't know about #10. That kind of limits your choices for celebrity guests.

  4. Whoa - I reckon that'll do it.

    I'm gonna subscribe to ya now, girl.

  5. This weekend I went to a party--granted it was a 2-year-old birthday party--and arrived at the time called for on the invitation. 11 am. At 11:30 my husband and I were still the only people there. I said "I'm sorry, were we early?" because they were still preparing long after we arrived. And the host said "oh no, just nobody else has arrived yet. I was hoping someone would get here on time to sit with the kids so i could chop fruit." I didnt' mind the still prepping at 11 part, considering she has 2-year-old twins. Which is just crazy.

    But the point is, the next guests didn't arrive until 11:45! And then people were still getting there are 1:15, even though the invitation said 11-1. I felt guilty for "leaving early" a little after 1, because no one else looked to be going anywhere... Am I crazy? Do baby birthday parties have a built in come late clause that I don't know about??


  7. Did my lame guest from last week come to your party too?

    Because my lame guest from last week did ALL of those thing. Except for Alton Brown insults. Now that would have been the last straw.


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