Wednesday, December 14, 2011

What to Do if You Discover Mouse Poop in Your Kitchen

The Frugal Hostess hates you, mouse.
What to do if you discover mouse poop in your kitchen:

Feel faint.  Almost faint, even if you've never fainted before.

Call your husband.


Slam a beer.

Cry harder.

Go in another room.  Slam second beer.

Contemplate suicide.

Contemplate getting in your car and driving away forever.


Clean it up in a frenzy only matched in it's rage-fueled fervor by your mother's after the Sleep Away Camp Lice Incident of 1988.  Bleach everything.

Bleach yourself.


The end.

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