This is so flipping easy that The Frugal Hostess ought to be ashamed of herself. She's not even gonna dignify this post with a picture.
Ingredients
1 16oz can of garbanzo beans
1/4 cup liquid from can
3 Tablespoons lemon juice
1 1/2 Tablespoons tahini
2 cloves garlic (roasted is also good)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons olive oil
Directions (Should this say "direction?" Singular? Get it?)
1. Blend together all ingredients in food processor or blender.
Of course, TFH is pretty well-known for wanting to complicate the uncomplicated, so she has started making her own tahini instead of buying it.
Ingredients
1 cup of sesame seeds
1/4 cup of vegetable oil
(This ratio works up to at least five cups of sesame seeds. TFH has never made nor plans to make five full cups of tahini, but she thought you'd like to know.)
Directions
1. Toast the sesame seeds 5-10 minutes in a 350 degree over, shaking often with spatula.
2. Cool for 20 minutes.
3. Blend with oil in food processor.
4. Store in an airtight container FOREVER. Seriously, this stuff lasts a loooooong time.
Eat with carrot sticks and pita chips. Scrumptious!
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Is it weird if The Frugal Hostess calls having dinner with her husband a party? Probably, huh? Oh well. The Frugals have been watching Season Two of Mad Men on DVD this past week. THAT SHOW RULES!!! Ahem. The clothes, the hairstyles, and especially the hats, gloves, and handbags galore make TFH weak in the knees. And the all-day drinking and smoking festivals are awesome. (In fact, The Frugal Hostess was once a very dedicated smoker, as a result of watching too many old movies and thinking they were real life. She has since reformed.)
To celebrate being almost caught up to the current season, The Frugal Hostess suggested that last night's dinner be a la Mad Men. The Frugal Husband agreed, and out he went to round up some supplies. Thus, the following menu.
Mad Men Dinner
Martinis/Gin and Tonics
Chilled Shrimp Cocktail
Wedge Salad with Blue Cheese and Bacon
Grilled Strip Steaks with Garlic Green Beans
Chocolate Ice Cream with Reddi-Whip and Maraschino Cherries
Delicious! On to Season Three!
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OK, she knows it's still summer and hot and buggy, but The Frugal Hostess has been giving a lot of thought to fall parties and holidays. It's probably because of all the back to school sales. There are so many cool things to celebrate in the fall. Here's a quick list of things you might want to do/think about/plan.
1. End of Summer Party: The weekend before the fall equinox (Sept. 22) is the perfect time for this. Serve really summery foods like watermelon and tomatoes; make fruity drinks; and invite your guests to wear their bathing suits. Depending on who you're friends with.
2. Free/Cheap Fall Decorations: Save jars and scrub off the labels (or use glass vases). Fill with fallen acorns, those prickly sweet gum balls (what are those things called?), and/or little pine cones. Look for fallen sticks and branches, and bunch them together in pots. Bonus points if they have pretty leaves. Tie a fall-colored ribbon around a smaller arrangement of sticks and either position on its side on a shelf or stand up on a table.
3. Halloween: Lots more coming about Halloween, but for now think about your Halloween costume. Look through your closet first. The Frugal Hostess has been a cowgirl, a biker (in much skinnier, leather pant-wearing days), and a hippie using her own clothes. You could also maybe pull off Holly Golightly in a Little Black Dress, a hobo with a flannel shirt, or a man/woman (whatever you're not) with some makeup. Now's also a good time to look for costume components at the thrift store, before everyone in the world is doing the same thing.
A Note to Ho-Bags at Halloween: You know who you are. That girl. The one who dresses up as Slutty Nurse, Hooker Pirate Wench, Sexy Cop, or Naughty Librarian. You are an asshole, and you make all other women feel like they are Grimace from McDonaldland.
4. Calendar: There are usually three times more parties and events in the fall than in the summer, so you will need to be a little more organized if you want to enjoy the season to the fullest. Be sure that you include things like football games - The Frugal Hostess is sometimes held hostage by her husband's football needs. Also, look up the various fall festivals near you; that's a good way to entertain yourself and feel like you're living in season without spending a ton of dough.
5. Fall Food: The Frugal Household tries to be careful about eating in season and saving things for certain times of year, so TFH is getting really excited about the return of sweet potatoes and butternut squash to her plate. Whatever your fall food traditions, it's fun to start thinking of them and building the anticipation.
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The Frugal Hostess is not one of those girls who say they would rather forget their birthdays. She believes her own birthday (June 6, in case you’re making a calendar) is the second-most important day of the year, beaten out only by Christmas because of the greater volume of merry-making the latter entails. The Frugal Hostess will meet you at a restaurant, and, when you go to the bathroom, enter her birthday on your cell phone calendar with a loud alarm to remind you. She will helpfully give you a countdown of shopping days. And she will most definitely celebrate every year, no matter how old she becomes.
Birthdays rule!
TFH recently held a small birthday dinner for her friend, Birds and Cherries. Due to travel, TFH had missed BAC’s party, so the dinner was the substitution. This is a birthday gesture that anyone can make, because it is very easy (but not so easy, BAC, that you still shouldn’t think it was awesome) and yet very lovely. If you are feeling financial pressure about joining someone’s party at an expensive restaurant, say, just beg off and do this instead.
Happy Birthday, Birds and Cherries!
Hors d’ Oeuvres: TFH stuck with her tried and true favorites, which you’ve heard about before. These are the glorious trifecta of cheese and crackers, olives, and nuts. She also threw in some extras to make it more special – homemade dried cherry tomatoes, homemade pickled okra, and some gigantor caper berries. Everyone had fun making little canapés of baby-sized Breton cracker (bought on accident but darn good), goat cheese schmear, and dried tomato half. Delish. The boys had martinis and the girls had highballs (sounds like maybe that should have been reversed, no?).
Dinner: This was a simple meal that didn’t take a lot of hands-on time while the guests were here. The Frugal Hostess finds herself extremely challenged when it comes to chatting, drinking a gin and tonic, getting her share of her favorite food group whores hors d’ oeuvres, and cooking something. She just can’t do it, and it’s much more important to make sure you and your guests have fun than it is to whip up some complicated nonsense that keeps you in the kitchen all night. That’s what The Frugal Husband restaurants are for.
Roast Chicken – The Frugal Husband makes this, and he uses Alice Waters’ recipe. Then he makes stock with the giblets and carcass. He is really awesome, and you should definitely be jealous.
Miniature Twice-Baked Potatoes – TFH likes this because they look so cute and can be made ahead. Recipe to follow.
Tomato Salad – TFH just happened to have bought four of the most beautiful and delicious heirloom tomatoes – the only good ones she’s had this summer, BTW – and mixed these with a chiffonade of fresh basil from the garden, smoked mozzarella, olive oil, salt and pepper. Because she is occasionally a dumb ass, The Frugal Hostess cut the tomatoes and the cheese into chunks; what she should’ve done is present the salad as stacked sliced tomatoes interspersed with cheese. Oh well.
Also, TFH found out at the last minute that a guest hated was allergic to tomatoes! Oh no! Thankfully, there were a couple of options for him in the fridge. There was a ramekin of eggplant casserole that TFH heated up, but she could have just as easily given him two mini-potatoes or told him to enjoy scurvy if he wasn’t going to eat his vegetables. If this happens to you, do your best to offer something else, but don’t worry about it if you can’t. Nothing wrong with not liking a course, and nothing wrong with not having an alternative.
Dessert: The Frugal Hostess may not have ever told you this, but she has serious (SERIOUS!) guilt about wasting food, and fruit in particular. If you buy [expensive] local and organic produce, it feels like such a sin to throw it in the compost. She may not have ever mentioned this one either, but she freaking loves to pick wild berries. Ergo, this dessert was possible from ingredients that were on hand. TFH does not recommend you buy the absurd amount of fruit it takes to make this, because it’s only a frugal dessert if you do it the way she did. So she’s not giving you the recipe. Instead, she would encourage you to make a dessert with ingredients you already have – a cake, or pie, or something. (OK, if you really, really want to know, leave a comment or email frugalhostess AT gmail DOT com).
So, for dessert, TFH made two types of sorbet. The first was vanilla pear, using a vanilla bean left over from the vanilla-making a few weeks ago, sugar, and a big container of frozen pears. Those pears had been on sale when they were fresh, but The Frugal Household was being abandoned for greener pastures (aka, vacation), so TFH peeled and froze them to assuage her crazy Fruit Guilt. The second sorbet was blackberry lime, made with lime juice stolen from the gin and tonic stash of limes, sugar, and a ton of blackberries picked and frozen earlier in the summer and saved for just such an opportunity. These were made the day before and frozen. You know, being a frozen dessert and all. The vanilla pear was very mellow, and the blackberry lime was very tart, so they made a good combination. But TFH kind of freaked out at the last minute and added some store-bought cookies to the plate. They were tasty but superfluous, and TFH does NOT recommend you do that.
Decorations: Being herself, The Frugal Hostess didn’t have money time for decorations but did have a lot of crap craft supplies on hand. She set the table using her best china and silver, and then set about trying to come up with something festive to add. She looked in the basement for an old Happy Birthday banner that she’s sure she hoarded stored, but it was no where to be found. After some searching, though, she discovered these really cool skinny birthday candles. She had three different colors and thought about trying to make a big birthday menorah. However, since that made little sense, she kept searching. As she arranged her nicest crystal bowl in the center of the table and filled it with used wine corks, inspiration struck! Champagne corks and candles! Brilliant!
Each person got a champagne cork stuffed with a candle (use a screwdriver to make the hole), a card stamped with Happy Birthday in silver ink, and a single match. When the guests were seated, each person lit their match off the candles in the middle of the table and used it to light their personal birthday candle. Festive! Fun! Pretty! Free!
In all, the party was super fun, and The Frugal Hostess was delighted to spend time with BAC and her paramour. You should do it too!
Recipe for Miniature Twice-Baked Potatoes
(makes six)
Ingredients
Six fist-sized red potatoes
Cheese (about a cup)
Butter (like, half a stick)
Sour cream or plain yogurt (2-3 tablespoons)
Five pieces of bacon
Salt & pepper
Directions
1. Stab the potatoes with a fork all over, then microwave on high for four minutes. Check them out. If they seem soft enough, move on to step two. If not, turn and continue to microwave in 2-3 minute increments until they are an edible degree of hardness. Also take the butter out to soften while you’re cooking the potatoes.
2. Let them cool. Don’t be a hero.
3. Once cool, take a sharp knife and cut off the top and the bottom. You’re cutting the top so you can dig in there and get out all the potato, so that cut may need to be deeper. You’re cutting the bottom just enough that it will stand up straight, so you’ll just be cutting off a little bit.
4. Use a melon baller to scoop out the cooked potato into a bowl. Be careful; The Frugal Hostess has accidentally scooped through the bottom and the side of one before, and that you do not want. You could probably use a teaspoon or other small spoon, but a melon baller is extremely satisfying to use because the potato comes out in cute little balls.
5. Simultaneously, microwave five pieces of bacon. The secret trick to this dish is in this step. If you can, use a glass baking dish (like a casserole dish) to microwave the bacon. Once done, take out the bacon slices and let them drain on a paper towel. Pour off the melted bacon fat into a jar (seriously, if you don’t save that stuff, you are insane). DO NOT clean the dish; set it and its bacon-covered goodness aside. Feel free to eat one piece of bacon at this point (you really only need three or four), and chop up the rest.
6. Now, add the butter, sour cream or plain yogurt, salt and pepper, bacon, and cheese. On the cheese, TFH likes either shredded cheddar or crumbled blue cheese, but any cheese will do. In any case, buy the big blocks and do it yourself rather than paying double for pre-shredded or pre-crumbled cheese. You could also add some chopped green onions or scallions. Mix all that up. If you need to, use a masher or fork to combine everything. Also, if you need to, eat a little more bacon; no one will mind.
7. Stuff the mixture back into your little potato shells. You will have enough left for a few good bites for yourself. Arrange the stuffed potatoes in the dish that is coated with bacon fat. Yes, it is genius. This can be refrigerated overnight or popped into the oven. Since the ingredients are fully cooked, you’ll just need to warm and brown them before serving, so try 350 for 15 minutes or so. TFH usually makes these ahead and puts them in with whatever’s cooking to heat up, so she knows that they are fine cooked at pretty much any temperature.
(Thanks to The Frugal Mother for this rocking recipe!)
The Frugal Hostess once made the mistake of agreeing to write all of the thank-you notes for her wedding gifts, because The Frugal Husband’s handwriting is hard to read.Little did she know that he was totally faking her out and could pull out perfectly legible script whenever he wanted.She was sure that she would stay on top of them, writing a note each time she opened a gift, so that she would never get behind.Ah, such are the futile dreams of brides-to-be, drunk with power and crazed by marriage classes.
It is so easy to find yourself staring down a pile of unwritten thank-you notes. It happens to TFH every year, at least once or twice.Here’s the formula for facing up to your stack of stationery.
Step 1: Pour a glass of wine (or beer, or milkshake, or loose-leaf tea – whatever beverage makes you feel like something fun is happening).
Step 2: Commandeer the remotes.If you are writing the thank-you notes for your family, you get to watch whatever you want.Or listen to any music you choose.
Step 3: Make a quick list of the notes you have to write, listing the recipient’s name and the gift/deed for which s/he is being thanked.
Step 4: Write out all of the envelopes and put stamps on them.That way, you’re committed.You’ve already invested your money in these notes, so you might as well send them.
Step 5: Pick your three favorite people or gifts, and write to them first.Vary an adjective here and there – it really is tacky to write a form letter of thanks – and be sure to mention the gift/deed specifically.Here’s a sample:
Dear The Frugal Mother,
I absolutely love/adore/can’t live without the beautiful/hilarious/life-saving item you gave me for President’s Day [Getting that hint, The Frugal Mother?Let’s start a new tradition where you buy gifts for TFH on President's Day.Dig?]It looks/feels/smells great.Thank you so much for thinking of me/your kindness/your generosity.It was fun hanging out/skydiving/doing tequila shots, and I hope to see you again soon!
Cheers/Love/Best/Yours,
The Frugal Hostess
Please note: It is considered bad form (by whom?Not sure. Maybe just The Frugal Hostess?) to use the words “thank you” in the first sentence of a thank you note.Your note should read as though you are so overcome with the glory of the gift that you have to go on about it before you can get down to the business of saying thanks.
Step 6.OK, so you’ve written the first three notes.Since they were to the people you like the best, they were the easiest to write, right?So, don’t put them in their envelopes yet.Use them as guides for the rest of your notes.
Step 7.Pour another glass of wine, eggnog, motor oil, et al.
The Frugal Hostess feels that it is her duty to inform you of something. You know how she made that homemade shampoo a while back? And remember how she gave the blog version of a speech about chemicals and nature and all that?
Yeah, well, scratch that. The homemade shampoo, that is. The Frugal Hostess totally loved it at first. Her hair was clean, shiny, and great-smelling. It only needed to be washed every other day. And she was doing her urban pioneer woman thing, you know, mixing up a batch of shampoo in between pickling okra and making cheese.
However, of late, The Frugal Hostess has noticed that her head is falling off. Without grossing you out, TFH will just say that the homemade shampoo seems to be causing snow flurries to the North, verging on blizzard conditions. If you know what she means.
At first she tried that famous cure-all, tea tree oil. Nope. She also read that thyme has antiseptic properties and has some growing right outside, so thyme shampoo may be coming soon. But for now, dear friends, TFH has purchased a family-sized bottle of Head and Shoulders, and she's not itching to be disloyal to it any time soon. (Itching. Ha!)
Here's hoping no one else had the same issue with this dreadful concoction!
The Frugal Husband is freaking obsessed with going to concerts. Like, he thinks that it is his secret job, as though he's a member of an underground musical police force who must see all live performances to defeat an evil force in the world. If it were possible, The Frugal Husband would see a show every night. Well, if he could watch football on his iPhone at the same time. Ergo, The Frugal Hostess always knows that, should she want to attend a concert, even a really expensive one, he will be game. As it were. Thus, the Concert Pre-Game* Party.
Pick a concert. Buy tickets for it. To be frugal, please note this MOST AMAZING FACT: you can use your American Express points to buy tickets from Ticketmaster! (!!!) Yep. That's right, folks; even in times of financial woe, you too can see a show. Convince some friends to do the same. It will be easier if you tell them the Amex/Ticketmaster secret. (And, seriously, not interested in your anti-Ticketmaster rants. Get it, they suck, go on about your business.)
The Frugal Household decided to use Amex points for Paul McCartney's recent visit to Piedmont Park in Atlanta. So did friends the Restaurafarians and the Lotta Francas. Or, you know, who knows what form of currency they used, but they got tickets, and everyone converged on The Frugal Household for a pre-concert extravaganza.
Ingredients Concert Tickets (Optional. You can pre-game a show you're not going to; it's just not as good.) Music of Artist Giving Concert Somewhat Clean House Folded Blankets by Door Assorted Hors d' Oeuvres (As an aside, may The Frugal Hostess just say that she only ever refers to hors d' oeuvres as "whores" in her own mind?) Make-Your-Own Entree (hotdogs, burgers, sandwiches, bowls of chili with toppings) Two to Four Composed Salads Beeeeeeeeeeeeer Booooooooooooze Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine Etc. (Optional....)
Directions and Notes: 1. Play CDs or MP3s of the artist incessantly leading up to the show. It will help build excitement and remind people what songs they hope to hear. In the case of The Frugal Hostess's trip to see Paul McCartney, playing Beatles CDs helped her remember all the words to their songs so she could sing at top volume.
2. The "somewhat" in the Somewhat Clean House just means that you shouldn't stop yourself from having this party if you don't have time to deep clean. You should still pick up, you slob.
3. Place folded blankets by the door only if the concert you are attending will take place outside. Presumably, you will not need them inside a venue. However, if you pre-game appropriately, you will forget to bring blankets unless you literally trip over them on your way out.
4. Assorted Hors D' Oeuvres typically consists of at least two and preferably all of the following: cheese and crackers, nuts, cherry or grape tomatoes, crudite of carrots and celery (and whatever else), chips and salsa, and olives.
5. Make-Your-Own-Entrees are best when you plan to, uh, consume with your guests. Surely you'll be able to grill hotdogs or hamburgers - that's easy - or at least throw out some cold cuts. You may want to get the condiments ready the night before. The Frugal Hostess served exceedingly delicious Zweigel's hotdogs imported by the Lotta Francas from Rochester, NY. The available condiments were: ketchup; ketchup mixed with Sriracha (asian hot sauce); mustard; sauerkraut (SO much better than you think - try it! Plus it's easy to make and lasts forever.); pickle spears; celery seeds; tomato slices; relish; diced onion; and pickled peppers. [De-frickin-lish. Chicago dogs rule.] For burgers, try blue cheese crumbles, bacon, cheddar, tomato slices, pickle chips, onion, or fried eggs if you have time. For sandwiches, use any of the above. Duh. You obviously know how to make a sandwich. Right? For chili, get out Fritos, sour cream, shredded cheddar, sliced avocado, chopped onions and tomatoes, and hot sauce.
6. Composed Salads. That may be a Southern thing. Is it? Composed salads are salads composed of assorted ingredients - arranged rather than tossed. These are like pasta salad, broccoli salad, jello salad (so gross! never eat that!), potato salad, or fruit salad. You know, like picnic salads. A tossed green salad would also not be out of place.
7. Beeeeeer, Booooooooze, Wiiiiiiiiiiiine, Etc. Dude, really? No comment.
Rock on!
*Pre-game is a term (both noun and verb) purportedly coined by sorority girls/frat boys to describe pre-partying before the real party. Don't let its lineage discourage you from using it. It's a great word!
Feel free to contact The Frugal Hostess with offers of cash, party invitations, or requests for autographs by emailing frugalhostess [at] gmail [dot] com. You can also follow on Twitter @frugalhostess; join in on Facebook; or peak inside the holiday storage room at FruHo Holidays.
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