Dobermanplasty. Yes, seriously.

The Frugal Hostess received this email today:

Leave it to "Star Trek," "Lord of the Rings," and HBO's "Bored to Death" to bring ears back into fashion…”elf ears,” that is.  They should be healed in time for Christmas, so working with Santa Claus is an emerging job opportunity. 

According to Dr. Grant Stevens, a board certified plastic surgeon based in Marina del Rey, Calif., (www.marinaplasticsurgery.com), getting ears reshaped to resemble a pointy elf's opens up a host of problems.  He’s nicknamed the procedure, “Dobermanplasty,” as it is very similar to getting that breed of dog's ears docked. 

In addition to the fact the some people who do elf ears are unlicensed and therefore prohibited from using anesthesia (it hurts!), infections can occur destroying the ear because of its limited blood flow, and the procedure is practically non-reversible.  If you require glasses, they could be difficult to fit.

Dr. Stevens predicts that just like the never ending requests for tattoo removal, the demand for reshaping the ear back to normal will be booming as well.

FruHo believes it stands alone, with the following addition: WTF?

Extra Cool Thing on Friday

you have a bajillion followers and 36 fan pages.  you answered questions on quora before anyone asked, and the glitterati follow your every move on plancast.  you can text with your toes, and your ipad checks in on foursquare by itself.  you are so social you tweet in your sleep. 

use your power for good.

join us on friday, april 15, for a 24 hour social-thon to raise money for the american red cross for disaster relief in japan and elsewhere.

who: vitrue, hive marketing, digital atlanta, barracuda networks, and others

what: social-thon

huh?  modeled after the old school telethon a la jerry lewis, we’ll gather heavy hitters in tech and social media to use their well-connected networks for the benefit of raising money to help those affected by the earthquake and tsunami in japan.  participants will form relay teams to tweet, facebook, and otherwise rally their digital troops around the clock.  the team that raises the most money will get serious bragging rights and their donation matched by vitrue, up to $5,000. 

relay teams will be treated to yummy food, refreshing adult beverages, and game-layer fun with prizes along the way, as well as the opportunity to put their all-nighter skills to the test while raising cash for a very important cause.  what more could a self-respecting social media addict ask for?

when: april 15-16, 2011 | 5.pm – 5.pm | 5.pm – 12.am at strongbox west | 12.am – 5.pm on your own

where: strongbox west | 1736 defoor place | atlanta, ga 30318

why: to benefit the american red cross for earthquake + tsunami relief efforts  in japan

how: [you can help]

join a relay team!  each team will have a unique url to track your donations, and you are free to use any and every method at your disposal to raise money.  except bank robbery.  email susan.barry@hive-marketing.com to sign up.

Blog-Ruptcy

In his book The Art of Non-Conformity, Chris Guillebeau offers a suggestion for what to do when email has just become too much to deal with.  He says that, when all else fails, you should declare email bankruptcy.  That is, delete every message in your inbox, and send out something like, "Hey, I just declared email bankruptcy and deleted everything in my inbox.  If I missed replying to your message, please forgive me."

Extreme and scary, maybe, but effective.

So, The Frugal Hostess has decided to do something similar on this here blog.  FruHo is declaring blog-ruptcy.  What does that mean?

1.  No more ads.  After almost two years, TFH has made less than $20 in ad revenue.  Not worth the ugliness, IHHO (in her humble opinion).  So they're outta here.

2.  No more product reviews.  FruHo often gets sent free books and cooking equipment and all kinds of other stuff.  So much stuff, in fact, that it is overflowing from a giant box under her desk.  She will never get around to writing about all that free loot, and the guilt is killing her.  So, no more.  (Note to publishers, et al: feel free to keep sending free stuff; just know that, unless it is SPECTACULAR, it won't be making an appearance here.)

Listen, there is nothing wrong with trying to make money from your blog, and The Frugal Hostess has a number of projects up her sleeve that she hopes will do just that.  These are just not the methods she wants to pursue any longer.  FruHo will continue to post Amazon affiliate links to books and products that come up in the course of posts, because they aren't obtrusive and make it easy for a reader to find something.  And, you know, if you'd like to send a check, feel free.

OK, blog-ruptcy has been declared.  TFH feels so much better now!

The Story of Bottled Water

If you can't see the video in your reader, click through; it's worth it!

Do you know about this?

This is so cool.

For $10 a month, you get a box of makeup and beauty supplies.

What's not to love?

Maybe that.

UPDATE: A quick on the draw reader tried to subscribe and was told that they are sold out.  Birchbox answered FruHo's query about their sold-out status with this, "Yup, we're temporarily sold out of subscriptions. But not to worry — if you readers join the waitlist now, they'll be first in line when we have additional supply. We don't ask for any commitment and we'll email them as soon as they can join."  TFH apologizes for teasing you with a product you can't even buy at the moment!

Breakfast Tomorrow: Chocolate Chip Bacon Pancakes

The Frugal Hostess may not have ever mentioned this, but she has a personal chef* that prepares all of her meals.  Recently, when Coach Brother-in-Law was visiting, FruHo commanded the chef to prepare a magnificent breakfast feast.  Here is what FruHubs made.

Chocolate Chip Bacon Pancakes

Yep, you heard correctly.  Rad.

Ingredients:

Pancake batter recipe

Chocolate chips

Bacon (cooked)

Directions:

1.  Make pancake batter.

2.  Add chocolate chips.

3.  Add cooked, crumbled bacon.

4.  Cook pancakes in a cast iron skillet.

5.  Drizzle a tiny amount of syrup on them and eat.

6.  Remove defibrillators from closet and apply to chest to restart heart.

You'll notice in these pictures that CheFruHubs is using a weird looking bowl.  It's called the MixerMate, and it is shaped that way to keep the batter from flying all around when you use a hand mixer.  Really, The Frugal Hostess could care less about this bowl, based on having a personal chef and all, but the chef thought it was a pretty cool tool.  Thanks, Beater Blade, for sending FruHo that free bowl to force upon her chef slash husband try out!

*Total lie.

The Frugal Sandwich?

The Frugal Hostess spent a recent Saturday checking in on two of her favorite food pioneers in the city.

The Infidel

FruHubs

First up was a visit to the Irwin Street Market.  Home of Jake's Ice Cream, Candi's for Breakfast, and King of Pops, Irwin Street is an incubator for food entrepreneurs.  The latest and greatest to launch there is Picnic!, "comfort food, Southern style."  TFH and FruHubs accidentally ordered the same sandwich, the Infidel, which is the Picnic! version of a Cubano.  Good stuff, but they were pissed to miss the Fried Green Tomato BLT, which should actually be called the Southern South Sandwich of the South (pimento cheese, fried green tomatoes, bacon, and pear pepper relish).

There are all kinds of desserts at Irwin Street Market, but FruHo had other plans for post-luncheon sweets.  She dragged FruHubs on a wild goose chase of carsickness and potholes to arrive at their next destination, because she was "sure" she knew how to get there.  Not so.  No matter, because now that's she's been, she'll never forget again.  The owner is a genius and, in the never-ending saga of all roads leading to North Florida, the true love of an old friend of The Frugal Hostess, which only clicked after meeting her three times.  Duh.

Sugar Coated Radical from Keith Roberts on Vimeo.

Now that you've watched the video, you will no doubt want to go there.  Here's how.  You're welcome.

So, word on the street is that TFH's friend Jake at Picnic! is going to name a sandwich after her.  What should be on it?  Leave your idea in the comments.