Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Punk Rock Birthday Party

The Frugal Hostess doesn't know about you, but she is sick and tired of little girls dressed up like hoochies and ho bags. While she may be old-fashioned, there is no reason for any of this:*
belly shirts
slogans like "hottie;" "spoiled;" "diva;" or any variation thereof

*exceptions: you are between the ages of 18 and 25, and you approximate your target BMI; you are a stripper; you are a hooker; you are a pop star with a verifiable income.

Having said that, The Frugal Hostess does get cracked up by certain expressions of maturity rendered on small children. For example, a mohawk on a two-year-old = priceless. Vintage Jimi Hendrix tees, skater Vans, and tiny smoking jackets are all awesome. It's funny to see little children dressed up as adults, as long as they aren't dressed up as adult film stars. To that end, today's party is a birthday extravaganza for the smaller set.

Punk Rock Birthday Party
You were there - or close to there - so you should have plenty of memorabilia to help make this easy. If you don't, ask yourself why you're planning a punk party for your kid. Hmmm....

- posters of New York Dolls, The Stooges, Blondie, Television, The Clash, Patti Smith, and The Ramones (you'll probably want to leave out the Sex Pistols, but maybe you can find just Johnny Rotten or Sid Vicious) You can try this site, and they'll send The Frugal Hostess some cash money.

- record album covers of same
- 11"x17" print-outs of the above printed out on your office copy machine -- make a letter-sized version, then set your giant printer to print 11"x17". (comment if you need detailed instructions on this).
- a banner or printed "CBGB/Omfug" sign for your door

Dress Code
Obviously, the point of doing this is to make yourself and the other adults laugh and laugh. To that end, please require punk attire -- multi-colored hair; mohawks; safety pins; and face paintings of lightening bolts, skulls, piercings, etc. Leather jackets, skater gear, ripped sweatshirts and jeans - you know what it's supposed to look like. Adorable!


Dance Contest: Play some Ramones and see who pogos the best or longest or highest. Variations: pillow fight slam-dancing (so it's softer) or musical chairs.
Punk Rock: Gather some good sized rocks, glue, and sewing notions, and let the kids decorate their own "punk rocks" to take home.
Clothespin Mohawk: Using a ton of old-fashioned clothes pins, see which kid can get the most to stay straight to form a mohawk in 15 seconds (adjust time based on ages).


According to Handsome Dick Manitoba of the Dictators, with whom The Frugal Hostess takes several liberties, here's what you should serve:

Sliders a la White Castle and Krystal
Assorted Meat and Veggie Pizzas
The Nosh Pit: cubed cheese, crackers, raw veggies with dip, grapes, apple and pear slices, mixed nuts, and assorted olives

Guitar-Shaped Sugar Cookies or Cake

Root Beer Floats
Pineapple & Pomegranite Juice "Shooters"


The best part, the inspiration for this whole party, is this. That's right, Mom and Dad, you can order customized temporary tattoos for Junior's party. Send each of the kids home with a barbed wire arm band and watch the parental freak out. This website will customize tattoos based on your idea or design, and you even get 10% off for ordering online. Seriously, it's worth having this party just to get the tattoos.

God save the Queen.

photo credits: all via creativecommons.org. from top: .imelda, spokanekelly, Shannon Kelly, and Benoit.P.

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious. Should we do this for Liza? I don't think she would like a Mohawk.


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