FruHubs is a Farmer

Hey y'all.  The Frugal Hostess is feeling a little put out with Blogger right now, based on the recent multitude of annoying issues vis-a-vis photos.  [UPDATE: Operator error, pictures posting find now.]  So, this is really just a test post to determine if the issue is still happening.  Having said that, TFH would love any gardening advice you might have.  For example, FruMa let it be known today that you must grow mint in a pot or it will run wild and take over your life.

Whatcha got, advice-wise?

The Frugal Hostess is allergic to outside, a disappointing quality in a wanna-be farmer. Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Bourbon, Pot, and Horses

The Frugal Hostess has wanted to go to the Kentucky Derby forever, since she started swilling bourbon and realized that all hats look good on her (all sunglasses, too – wildly lucky, that FruHo!  These facts are unrelated to the bourbon swilling, by the way).   The horse race is fine, she supposes, but she was never one of those My Friend Flicka girls.  What’s really freaking cool is the fact that everyone dresses up and wears hats and has a super-posh day – all for a sport that lasts about five minutes.  Um, that seems excessive, and yet, glorious.  Well, that “frugal” is in her name for a reason, so TFH will have to make do with watching the Derby on TV and hosting a Derby Day party.

[Huh.  There's supposed to be a picture here, but it seems that Blogger has changed the way you do that and thus made it impossible, at least for the moment.  WTF, Blogger?]

There are a ton of traditional Kentucky Derby foods, some of which are kind of gross.  There’s the Hot Brown, a sandwich of mammoth size and weird ingredients.  There’s the Benedictine Spread that’s made of cucumbers and dyed green, pecan pie (yuck!), and, of course, mint julips.

For our purposes, we are going to craft the traditional Derby Day foods into something resembling food that normal people whose brains aren’t being squeezed by hats would eat.  Thus, the following menu.

Hot Brown Sliders

Watercress Finger Sandwiches

Salad of Spring Lettuce and Baby Peas

Roasted Fingerling Potatoes with Butter and Fresh Chives

Praline Ice Cream Sundaes

Mint Julips

Mojitos

Since the race only lasts about 30 seconds, and the food ain’t that great, you need to put together a bunch of games and other diversions if you want your guests to stay longer than 15 minutes.  Here are some suggestions.

The main attraction of this party is getting to wear a hat.  Obviously, everyone (or is it just TFH?) wishes that the days of required hat-wearing for both men and women had not ended.    So be sure that you enforce a strict “hats-required” policy at your party.  Have a hat beauty pageant and award a blanket of roses – OK, maybe just a bouquet of roses – to the winner.

Another great thing about Derby Day is drinking bourbon before the sun goes down.  What with the profusion of small-batch bourbon in recent years, why don’t you get three or four bottles and do a tasting?  Bonus points if you make your guests wear blindfolds.

Last, you can play “Horse in a Hat.”  All you need is a designated Derby Hat, paper, pens, and some not-too-broke party guests.  Write down all the names of the horses on pieces of paper.  (You can find a list of horses in the race at www.kentuckyderby.com.)   Put the pieces of folder paper in your "Derby Hat" and mix them up.   Everyone bets by paying $1 and pulling a name out of the hat.  You can have some newspapers and a laptop set up for people to research the horses that they picked, so they can brag about their stats and just generally feel informed.  Then, after the trash-talking has settled down, watch the race.  The person that has the winning horse collects the pot.  Of money, that is.

Photo by L. Burchfield

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Video: Cheap but Not Easy

Most press releases that come to this blog are about as interesting as a foreign film without subtitles.  A glass of flat gingerale.  A drive through Texas.  A swig of moonshine without the grape Kool-Aid.  Err, you get the idea - boring, boring, boring (and, in the case of the moonshine, life-threatening).  But occasionally, something comes through that makes The Frugal Hostess scratch her head and open her email.  Animoto sent an email that got opened, and FruHo got to take their new web-based service for a spin. 

As a (possibly now former) PowerPoint addict, The Frugal Hostess can safely tell you that she has spent upwards of 30 hours trying to get a deck to do what Animoto does in minutes.   Basically, you upload pictures and video clips, and the magical website fairies turn it into a video of the quality that you usually spend a lot of money or time to achieve.  Best of all, you can set the video to music and add text without an engineering degree. 


The pros: You can make 30-second videos (about 10 pictures) for free.  The user-interface is extremely intuitive and easy, and the outcome is great.  For nine out of ten applications, this would blow your audience's mind.  You can add your own music.

The cons: The music selection is not awesome, featuring songs you've never heard from artists you've never heard of.  TFH also had a hard time getting the music player to load.  It feels like the photos take forever to upload, but that's just because the selection process is so easy that you think it will be instantaneous. 

On the whole, this service is spec-freaking-tacular.  Any marketer or HR pro would be smart to invest in the All-Access level of membership, and there's also a Pro level that presumably has more bells and whistles.

FruHo made a video showcasing some of the projects and parties that have appeared here.  Frankly, it made her a little misty-eyed to remember back to her first couple of posts.  The music is, well, a little cheesy, but please enjoy this video:

Cheap but Not Easy

You can sign up for Animoto here, and TFH has no doubt your video will be a lot better looking than hers.



(Dear FTC: FruHo didn't have to pay to use this service, and those are affiliate links.  Love ya! TFH)

The Frugal Hostess gets lonely. Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Hanging Out with Cheapskate

 The Frugal Hostess has a guest post over at Save Money You Cheapskate.  While you're there, stick around to read Cheapskate's brilliant suggestions for travel, Sunday family fun, and more.

The Frugal Hostess just saw pictures of cinnamon rolls.  What is it about cinnamon rolls that makes her forget how much she hates the taste of cinnamon?  Maybe it's because today is a special day.  Happy anniversary, FruHubs!

Cheapskate Parties Down

Today's post is from one of the funniest bloggers on the internet.  The Frugal Hostess has read every single one of Cheapskate's blog posts, and FruHo is sure you will absolutely love her party ideas.  Take it away, Cheapskate!

I am frugal, yes, but I’m seldom a hostess. If I were to have a party, here’s what I would do:

A party!!

Have your party from 3-5pm. These are “between meals” hours. The object it to confuse your guests about the expectation of a meal. Is it dinner time? Lunch time? Neither? Since they’ll be served only a few snacks your guests will be happier if they aren’t unpleasantly surprised by the lack of a meal.

This happened to me recently when I flew on an airplane for the first time in many years. The last time I flew, back in the 1950’s I think it was, I had a piping hot, delicious meal plus all the extra leftover desserts. I received a box of crayons, a deck of cards, some wings to pin on my shirt, and a pair of cozy foot warmers, plus I got to visit the cockpit and meet the captain.  Imagine my shock last month when all I got on the plane was a lousy little bag of peanuts. And I didn’t get to meet the captain!!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t shock your guests this way.

Serve chips and hummus. You can get an enormous bag of tortilla chips at Costco for under four bucks. Use my hummus recipe (below). Multiply the recipe by ten and you should be good to go. Total cost for snacks: about $9.

In your invitation (use evite or some type of free invitation) indicate “BYOB”. Hopefully your guests will be big on drinks and you’ll end up with a lot of leftover booze.

If you’re worried about having enough glasses (serve tap water), save up empty jars for this purpose. Start saving now!

For fun! If, like me, you’re not used to entertaining, it’s wise to brush up your wit in the days before your party. Look up some jokes online so you can get the conversation rolling with gems like, “Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.”

It’s best to have an ending time. If your guests stay too long they may begin to expect a meal. And if they ate a lot of your snacks the effect of the beans should be kicking in so you may want them out.

I know this will be a fun party!!! Who wants to come????

Hummus

1 cup dry garbanzo beans
Cook in the pressure cooker with water for 30 minutes
Drain and put them in a blender with
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp tahini or peanut butter
the juice from 1 or 2 lemons

4 cloves garlic
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp paprika 

For the ultimate in cheap urban survival and scrounging, follow Cheapskate on her blog at http://savemoneyyoucheapskate.blogspot.com

I Scream

Whoa.  Something so cool just happened.  The Frugal Hostess invented a flavor of ice cream and entered it in a contest, and her idea made it to the finals!  Sweet!!!  Pun, uh... pun intended?

Here are the details from the contest organizers:

A Taste of the Highlands is partnering with local favorite Jake’s Ice Cream to create an official Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta ice cream flavor. You know, for the kids.  Online voting will be open until May 3rd. The final winners will be announced at the 8th Annual A Taste of the Highlands on May 15.

Prizes:
The creator of the winning flavor will receive four free tickets to A Taste of the Highlands and a free quart of Jake’s Ice Cream each month for one year.

Second and third place winners will each receive two tickets to A Taste of the Highlands and a free pint of Jake’s Ice Cream each month for one year.

Um, did you read that?  The part about the free ice cream?  Seriously, go look at the Jake's flavors.  FruHo's mouth is watering just thinking about it.  If you'd like to help, and you know you would, click here to vote for the world's greatest undiscovered ice cream treasure: Summer Tomato.  Made with sun-dried tomato and olive oil ice cream flavored with minty fresh basil and studded with salty pistachios, this ice cream will send shivers of glorious delight down your spine.

Thanks, man.

The Frugal Hostess loves ice cream.  Like, a lot. Seriously.  Did you vote yet?  Um, get to it!

Back from the Woods

The Frugal Hostess just got back from four nights in the woods, and she's starting to think that this is happening again.  Yikes!  Hope you've had a great weekend, wherever you spent it, and see you back here soon!

The Frugal Hostess gets lonely. Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Cocktail Rings

Here's something you can make that is easy and yet, extra-awesome.  The Frugal Hostess has been meaning to make these for quite some time, but only recently have the correct craft supplies and available time converged to make it happen.  Ladies and Gentlemen, please behold:

That's right.  What do you mean what the hell is a cocktail ring?  Well, seriously, who knows.  It's an over-sized ring worn on the right hand; that much is clear.  These giant, dramatic rings first became popular in the 1940s and are also known as dinner rings.  While Wikipedia says that that they are typically made of precious or semi-precious stones, we are all very aware of the likelihood that an emerald turned up in The Frugal Hostess's craft supplies: 0%.

 Instead, FruHo made her cocktail rings out of buttons.  On her one and only visit to the World's Longest Yardsale (overpriced and therefore not the place for deals, but still very cool and worth seeing once), TFH picked up an old-school Mason jar filled with buttons.  She's sorted through them a number of times, pouring them out onto a tray and picking out the best for various projects.  If you don't have a jar filled with buttons, you should get one.  Fo' rizzle.

Ingredients
Rings blanks (available at craft stores)
Buttons
Some kind of wire cutters and/or pliers
Hot glue gun
Jewelry wire (optional)

Directions
1.  Choose large or glamorous, sparkly buttons from your stash.
2.  Cut or pull off the hook from the back so the button will lie flat.
3.  Put some glue on the ring blank, press down the button, and then put more glue where the ring and the button meet up.  Please note: TFH used hot glue sticks from the 1990s, and they didn't work all that well.  There used to be six rings, but the sixth cam unglued after an hour or so of wear.  (Not sure if this is the result of old glue or hot glue itself, so please weigh in if you have a better adhesive solution.)
4.  Let it dry.  When you wear the ring, do your very best not to pick at the glue, or it will fall apart.
5.  [Optional step]  Depending on the style of button you are using, you may want to use some wire to pull them together and/or secure them to the ring blank.  The ring pictured above with three gold spheres is wired together and then glued.

Wear your ring as often as possible, particularly while sipping a cocktail.

The Frugal Hostess is well-accessorized and watching a special about The Satanic Verses.  Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Hanging Out Over at How to Cook Like Your Grandmother Today!

Hey, guess what!  Drew from How to Cook Like Your Grandmother has published The Frugal Hostess's nonsensical musings!  His blog is so awesome - filled with tips on making things from scratch - and he's got books and recipe cards you can buy.  Drew is pretty famous (check out the videos of his many TV appearances) and very awesome, so FruHo is really honored that he put her on his site.  Check it out!

UPDATE: Drew has a really great cookbook, and he's letting FruHo have a cut of any sales to you guys.  Buy 200 copies!  Click here to view more details.

The Frugal Hostess loves bloggers.  She would really dig publishing your guest post or writing one for you, so just drop her a line to discuss. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

DIY Paper Spring Flowers

See these paper flowers?  What do you think?  The Frugal Hostess really wanted these to be more wan, maybe more delicate and less bright, cheerful, eager and in your face.  But, you know, TFH is kind of cheerful and in your face, so what can she expect.

Back in the days leading up to the making of paper flowers, when wan and delicate were still on the table, FruHo had intended to attach these to an attractively-shaped branch from the yard and use it as a centerpiece.  She used her newly-thrifted Spring napkins as inspiration and thought about adding a couple of restrained butterflies and curling leaves.  However, the flowers turned out as they turned out - almost like the paper version of an AKA rush party (the pink and green, y' know) - and so now she's stuck.  They're still kind of awesome, just not right for the initial plan.

What suggestions do you have for making use of these flowers?  Here are the ideas TFH has so far:

Make a garland
Add to gifts and cards
Burn
Mail to young nieces
Use to make a mobile; hang in guest room
Use as coasters on a Spring-themed table

Leave your ideas in the comments, and the best one (or couple, as the case may be) will get made and posted with full instructions.

The Frugal Hostess needs direction. Whatcha got? You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Symptoms of TDP

Have you ever been afflicted with TDP?  The Frugal Hostess just got off the phone with someone who had been to a Terrible Dinner Party.  The caller requested that, as a public service, TFH print a list of the symptoms of a Terrible Dinner Party so that all the hosts and hostesses throughout the land can eradicate this dreadful phenomenon post haste.  FruHo had no choice but to oblige.

1.  Thirst.  At a TDP, no one offers you a beverage, so your mouth glues itself together and your throat begins to close.


2.  Confusion. You're invited to arrive at 7pm, but when you knock on the door at 7:15 the hostess is wearing a bathrobe, and the host is nowhere to be found.


3.  The Shakes.  There are no hors d' oeuvre out, and your blood sugar is dropping.  Your extremities are getting colder, and your stomach is digesting your pancreas.


4.  Shortness of Wine.  You bring a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, and it's the only beverage in the room.


5.  Extreme Temperatures.  The beer is hot and the casserole is cold.  (And, they served you casserole!  Blech!)


6.  Mood Swings.  Despite the fact that recreation is supposed to be fun, the people around you are rude and grouchy, or someone up and leaves the room to play video games or check in with Facebook.  You feel like you're the rude one for even being there.

What did FruHo forget?  What kind of dinner party horror stories do you have to share?

photo by Kevin Dooley

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Congratulations to....

Lynette, who won the giveaway!!!  Email your mailing address to frugalhostess@gmail.com to claim your prize, and congratulations!

The Frugal Hostess gets lonely. Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Enjoy!

http://www.bluntcard.com