Monday, April 5, 2010

Symptoms of TDP

Have you ever been afflicted with TDP?  The Frugal Hostess just got off the phone with someone who had been to a Terrible Dinner Party.  The caller requested that, as a public service, TFH print a list of the symptoms of a Terrible Dinner Party so that all the hosts and hostesses throughout the land can eradicate this dreadful phenomenon post haste.  FruHo had no choice but to oblige.

1.  Thirst.  At a TDP, no one offers you a beverage, so your mouth glues itself together and your throat begins to close.

2.  Confusion. You're invited to arrive at 7pm, but when you knock on the door at 7:15 the hostess is wearing a bathrobe, and the host is nowhere to be found.

3.  The Shakes.  There are no hors d' oeuvre out, and your blood sugar is dropping.  Your extremities are getting colder, and your stomach is digesting your pancreas.

4.  Shortness of Wine.  You bring a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, and it's the only beverage in the room.

5.  Extreme Temperatures.  The beer is hot and the casserole is cold.  (And, they served you casserole!  Blech!)

6.  Mood Swings.  Despite the fact that recreation is supposed to be fun, the people around you are rude and grouchy, or someone up and leaves the room to play video games or check in with Facebook.  You feel like you're the rude one for even being there.

What did FruHo forget?  What kind of dinner party horror stories do you have to share?

photo by Kevin Dooley
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  1. i am confused ... was this all the same dinner party? with nothing to drink but wine, but also hot beer? i would like more from this story! how well did the person know their host ... not well enough to pitch in or leave?

  2. I cannot stand arriving at the stated time of the invitation only to find the hosts preheating their oven. I hate being left to entertain myself while my hosts prepare the meal. Dinner should be something that can hang out on its own during cocktails and be served without too much additional fuss by the hosts. When I'm invited to a person's home I want to spend time with them -- not be left alone for a long time during food prep.

  3. When someome turns on the TV and then half the people watch a game or whatever instead of socializing with one anther!

  4. @lady rogue: it's a composite to protect the guilty partiers. heh.

  5. When the host and hostess argue, or even worse, snip at each other with chipper voices as if speaking in high pitch will detract guests from noticing that the conversation consists of
    "Why didn't you set out the hors d'ouevres??" "Because you said you were going to"
    "Why do I always have to do everything?"
    "Fine. Done! Are you happy now!"


  6. When the cook says, "I didn't have all the ingredients the recipe called for, so I had to improvise. I hope it tastes all right."

  7. The dinner party that drags and never actually gets in full swing. So it also never seems to end, and finally, you find yourself trying to gracefully leave without offending the hosts.

    " babysitter will be waiting."


    "I have to be up early for work tomorrow."

  8. People who can't cook worth a lick but insist on throwing dinner parties.

    Or, less terrible but still not really OK, people who know they can't cook so they throw a dinner party and then pick up the entire meal from Whole Foods or restaurant takeout.


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