The bird nest is empty.
The fern hanging basket that it was in fell off its hook during a storm, and the eggs smashed to the ground. Some creature gobbled up the contents, and the mama bird has hightailed it out of here. Now, this is obviously just part of the circle of life and all, but The Frugal Hostess can't help but take it personally. It feels a little like Mother Nature is trying to prove a point.
Further examples of the wrath of Mother Nature:
Exhibit A: Power Outage
Last week, the power went out. Just after the sun went down. While FruHubs was out of town. Scary, scary, scary. When there's no power, you can hear everything - a baby crying next door, cars honking miles away, and the wings of insects beating the air. You can also hear your phone bleat with that little you-have-a-text-message sound, which happens a lot if your neighbor, the Pie-Making Carpenter, feels compelled to text you repeated pictures of sharp knives. You know, to make you feel better about the murdering murderer who might have snipped the electrical wires before making his murderous way into the house.
Exhibit B: The Disappearing Kitten
One of the loudest noises on the night of the power outage was the sound of meowing on the front porch. There was a teensy little baby orange kitten hiding out there in the corner, just screaming her head off. But when TFH went to pick her up, the kitten hauled ass and did laps around the house. Like, 14 laps. The next day, the cat reappeared across the street but again wouldn't get caught, slipping into the crawl space of a vacant house. The Frugal Hostess made a path of tuna from the hiding spot to her front porch, but the kitten never came back out.
Exhibit C: Maggoty Maggots and Fleas
FruHo can't really discuss this. It's enough to gag a maggot. Rest assured, the maggots are gone, and TFH may or may not have put her non-toxic bug spray beliefs on the shelf for a quick minute. The fleas are apparently just going to be a summer scourge, because, according to the vet, sand fleas live in Georgia with or without an animal host. Gross! And, thanks for nothing, Mother Nature.
Exhibit D: The Last Shrimp Boil
FruHubs had a birthday party for FruHo. Among other amazing things, he boiled up some Gulf shrimp with potatoes, corn, and sausage. It was delicious, and everyone loved it. Probably for the last time. Screw you, BP.
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