Ten Ways to Make Sure You'll Never Get Invited Again

To Whom it May Concern:

Below please find a list of surefire ways to get blacklisted at The Frugal Homestead.

1.  Announce what time you will be coming to a party, instead of coming when you are invited or declining the invitation.

2.  Tell your hosts that you can't make dinner but will come for drinks, despite not having been invited for drinks.

3.  Bring your own cocktail in a plastic cup.

4.  Insult Alton Brown, barbecue, and everything else that is holy.

5.  Claim that a different ingredient would dramatically improve a recipe your host is preparing.

6.  Mention to another guest that your hostess looks pregnant. 

7.  Proclaim that the music is terrible and change it.

8.  Stay indefinitely, despite having arranged in advance to leave before dinner is served.

9.  Be as anti-social as you can, ignoring the room full of hors d' oeuvre and candlelight to sit in a corner in another room.

10.  Suck.

Love,
FruHo

The Frugal Hostess gets lonely. Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Symptoms of TDP

Have you ever been afflicted with TDP?  The Frugal Hostess just got off the phone with someone who had been to a Terrible Dinner Party.  The caller requested that, as a public service, TFH print a list of the symptoms of a Terrible Dinner Party so that all the hosts and hostesses throughout the land can eradicate this dreadful phenomenon post haste.  FruHo had no choice but to oblige.

1.  Thirst.  At a TDP, no one offers you a beverage, so your mouth glues itself together and your throat begins to close.


2.  Confusion. You're invited to arrive at 7pm, but when you knock on the door at 7:15 the hostess is wearing a bathrobe, and the host is nowhere to be found.


3.  The Shakes.  There are no hors d' oeuvre out, and your blood sugar is dropping.  Your extremities are getting colder, and your stomach is digesting your pancreas.


4.  Shortness of Wine.  You bring a bottle of wine as a hostess gift, and it's the only beverage in the room.


5.  Extreme Temperatures.  The beer is hot and the casserole is cold.  (And, they served you casserole!  Blech!)


6.  Mood Swings.  Despite the fact that recreation is supposed to be fun, the people around you are rude and grouchy, or someone up and leaves the room to play video games or check in with Facebook.  You feel like you're the rude one for even being there.

What did FruHo forget?  What kind of dinner party horror stories do you have to share?

photo by Kevin Dooley

The Frugal Hostess gets lonely. Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.