FruHubs Food: Butternut Squash Risotto with Pancetta

Remember how The Frugal Hostess said that she was on the road to redemption?  That she was slowly gaining FruHubs' respect back with her beet-slinging ways?   HA!

The Frugal Husband is not one to rest on his culinary laurels.  (Except that he just now almost set the house on fire with hot oil.  Which is not exactly resting on his laurels, but neither is it very Top Chef behavior.  Just sayin', FruHubs.)

So here's what he made for dinner on Thursday.  As usual, The Frugal Husband is opposed to recipes, so he found a couple and tailored them to his preferences.   In other words, don't be offended if this is your family's contribution to the Smithsonian Institute, and he changed it.


 

Ingredients

1 medium butternut squash, peeled and cubed (2 cups)
2 tablespoons half and half
2 teaspoons olive oil
6 oz diced pancetta or bacon (FruHubs used pancetta but he says, "Next time I'm going the bacon route.")
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 cup arborio rice
4 cups chicken stock (make your own, yo)
Pinches of curry, cumin, cinnamon, brown sugar, basil, salt, pepper
(Pinch means like 1/2 to 1 teaspoon.  TFH doesn't particularly love cinnamon, or curry, or brown sugar in savory food, so she would err on the side of a very, very, very small, perhaps invisible, pinch.  But don't tell FruHubs.)  [From FruHubs: Now, now, you need 1/2 - 1 teaspoon of the brown sugar,1/4 a teaspoon of the cinnamon, and touch of the other stuff.  And she loved this or else it wouldn't be posted.] (This is his nice way of saying that TFH gobbled up every bite.)
2 tablespoons (or whatever - seriously, could there ever be too much?) Parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons cold butter
Crushed pistachio nuts & chives for topping

Directions

1.  Cook squash in boiling water until fork tender.
2.  Meanwhile, fry the pancetta in the olive oil until crispy.  If you're using bacon, you know how to fry it.  Reserve two tablespoons of fat in pan (And you know that means save the rest in your bacon fat jar.  What?  Sorry, didn't hear you - what do you mean you don't have a bacon fat jar?  Are you in need of an intervention, or perhaps some methadone?).
3.  In reserved fat, cook onion until it's translucent, adding garlic when you're almost done.  (Garlic cooks so much more quickly than onion, so please ignore anyone who tells you to throw those two ingredients in the pan at the same time, as said anyone is freaking cra-zay-zy.  And you know which f-word really belongs back there.)  Add the rice and stir until coated with fat.
4.  In a surprising second "meanwhile" move, bring the stock to a simmer.
5.  Now's where it starts to be a big risotto pain, because you have to stir non-stop for 25 minutes.  So, do some stretches, pour a glass of wine, and put someone on standby in case you have to pee.  Careful, now: Add a ladle-full of stock to the rice and cook, stirring nonstop (you heard correctly) until all the stock is absorbed.  Then add more, and do it again.  And again, and again, and again until the rice is tender and lovely.  This will take fo-evv-ah, so be ready.  Oh, and did TFH mention that this takes a while?
6.  After your arm is about to fall off from the constant stirring, add the spices, squash, cheese, butter, half & half.  Stir some more.  Don't let it burn!  Be sure to scrape down those sides!  Don't screw it up in the home stretch!!!
7.  Put that delicious risotto in some bowls and top it with pancetta (be generous), pistachios, and chives.  Eat it.  Die happy.

The Frugal Hostess realizes she is the luckiest woman in town. But still, please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter @frugalhostess, or subscribe (over there, to the left) so that you always know when a new post appears.

Halloween Porch Decorations

The Frugal Hostess likes to decorate her front porch for the various holidays and seasons.  She sometimes buys decorations (usually at the after-holiday sales), but she really prefers throwing things together.  After the graduation party a few weeks back, TFH decided she would definitely make a fabric banner for Halloween using purple, green, black, and orange fabric.   Easier said than done, as it happened.  None of her fabric scraps were the right colors, and the thrift stores were suspiciously barren of fabric scrap bags.  [Do note that most thrift stores sell giant bags of fabric remnants for next to nothing - like, two dollars - TFH just had bad luck.  If you like to use fabric in your crafts, get thee to a thrift store.  Plus, you usually get random colors and patterns that you wouldn't pick out but are glad to have.]  She was finally able to score single napkins and pillow cases in the right colors, and away she went.  Instructions are here, if you missed it.

 
Next, she planned to use some of the things she made last year.  In a fit of new home owner crafting, The Frugal Hostess made bat mobiles, witches' hat garlands, a pumpkin still life, and a bunch of other stuff last Halloween.  While the decorations themselves fell apart, paper perhaps not being the most long-lasting of choices for outside decor, TFH saved all of her templates, ribbon, and other odds and ends in a box in the basement.

But wait!  Didn't her basement flood recently?  Oh no!  What happened to all of the templates?  (Doesn't that just sound like something that would get uttered in all seriousness in an accounting office somewhere?)  Well, Dear Reader(s?), they were rescued.  Whew.


For the door, FruHo (Yes.  Like J-Lo.) envisioned a creepy black wreath with a glow-in-the-dark skeleton.  Because she already had the skeleton and couldn't figure out what to do with it.  Here's how it went down.  TFH had purchased a huge lot of embroidery hoops at a thrift store a while back, because they are the perfect thing to use for paper craft mobiles, wreaths, etc.  She took two of them, one large and one small, and taped them together.  Then, using a pair of black tights that she sliced up, she wrapped the wreath shape to cover the tape.  (You could also spray paint it).  Next, she took a long and winding black scarf and wrapped it around the wreath, followed by a long piece of black velvet ribbon.  All of this was loosely secured with a couple of safety pins.  The final touch was to dangle the little skeleton from the wreath.  Now, you are probably normal and thus lacking in a storehouse of embroidery hoops, but the point here is to use what you have rather than spending a fortune on decorations.

To flank the fabric banner, TFH decided to make a couple of bat mobiles (mow-bull, not Bat Mobile like what Batman drives).  Detailed instructions are forthcoming soon, but these would be slightly less complicated than last year's bat-a-palooza, while making use of the already existing bat templates.  Brill.  She got out the box of templates, placed it on the table, and began to work.  She cut out the bats, did all the steps, blah blah blah to be explained in a later post.  And then she walked away from the table for a few minutes to talk to The Frugal Husband.  At which point one of the assholes cats peed into the box of templates.  That's right, folks; the templates that had been carefully tucked away for a year, then rescued from flood waters, were destroyed by cat piss.  All the more reason not to spend a lot of money on decorations, in The Frugal Hostess's humble opinion.

BOO!

The Frugal Hostess is turning into a cat lady. Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, follow on Twitter, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Tuesday To-Dos: It's Fall!!!!

The Frugal Hostess woke up this morning, and it was cool, cold even.  Like, she had to put on a sweater to eat yogurt on the deck!  How exciting!!!

In honor of fall having, er, fallen, here are some things to do this week. 

1.  Pick up any outdoor furniture that isn't year-round.  Or, if your stuff stays out all year, clean it.

2.  Beach toys, inflatable pools (you rascal!), bathing suits, and white shoes can all be put away.  And before you try to tell TFH that Rachel Zoe or some other fashion goddess said white after Labor Day is A-OK these days, let's just clear it up - white shoes (and by extension, purses, belts, or full-on suits) are not, nor shall they ever be, allowed after Labor Day.  For rizzle-dizzle.  Don't.  Shush.  Uh-uh.  Don't want to hear it.

3.  Pick a date in the next four weeks to switch out your closet, or decide to do it for one hour every week until it's done.  Actually, that's a really good idea, which The Frugal Hostess will use. 

Week One - Get rid of everything that is super-obviously not wearable after summer, such as that flowing white cotton sundress or your seersucker overalls.  Anything linen or really thin cotton.  Um, whatever, you can figure it out.

Week Two - Same as above for shoes.  You know, put up your seersucker shoes.

Week Three - Anything that can't be winterized wear with tights and a cardigan.  Also, any straw hats or bags.

Week Four - OK, by now it should be cold, so if you need further instruction you may want to call your mom.  Or for help.  You are clearly a couple stitches short of a winter scarf.

4.  Go online (or stay a while - you are already here), and look up any fall festivals in your area.  Those tend to be the kind of thing that you miss and wish you hadn't, so just be proactive and get it on the calendar.  If the Frugal Husband doesn't take her to a freakin' corn maze this year, The Frugal Hostess is going to get hostile.  Just sayin', Hubs.

photo by lu2shoot

The Frugal Hostess gets lonely. Please comment. You can also join the Frugalistas on Facebook for exclusive content, or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.

Fall Things to Think About

OK, she knows it's still summer and hot and buggy, but The Frugal Hostess has been giving a lot of thought to fall parties and holidays. It's probably because of all the back to school sales. There are so many cool things to celebrate in the fall.  Here's a quick list of things you might want to do/think about/plan.

1.  End of Summer Party: The weekend before the fall equinox (Sept. 22) is the perfect time for this.  Serve really summery foods like watermelon and tomatoes; make fruity drinks; and invite your guests to wear their bathing suits.  Depending on who you're friends with.


2.  Free/Cheap Fall Decorations: Save jars and scrub off the labels (or use glass vases).  Fill with fallen acorns, those prickly sweet gum balls (what are those things called?), and/or little pine cones.  Look for fallen sticks and branches, and bunch them together in pots.  Bonus points if they have pretty leaves.  Tie a fall-colored ribbon around a smaller arrangement of sticks and either position on its side on a shelf or stand up on a table.


3.  Halloween: Lots more coming about Halloween, but for now think about your Halloween costume.  Look through your closet first.  The Frugal Hostess has been a cowgirl, a biker (in much skinnier, leather pant-wearing days), and a hippie using her own clothes.  You could also maybe pull off Holly Golightly in a Little Black Dress, a hobo with a flannel shirt, or a man/woman (whatever you're not) with some makeup.  Now's also a good time to look for costume components at the thrift store, before everyone in the world is doing the same thing.

A Note to Ho-Bags at Halloween: You know who you are.  That girl.  The one who dresses up as Slutty Nurse, Hooker Pirate Wench, Sexy Cop, or Naughty Librarian.  You are an asshole, and you make all other women feel like they are Grimace from McDonaldland. 

4.  Calendar:  There are usually three times more parties and events in the fall than in the summer, so you will need to be a little more organized if you want to enjoy the season to the fullest.  Be sure that you include things like football games - The Frugal Hostess is sometimes held hostage by her husband's football needs.  Also, look up the various fall festivals near you; that's a good way to entertain yourself and feel like you're living in season without spending a ton of dough.

5.  Fall Food:  The Frugal Household tries to be careful about eating in season and saving things for certain times of year, so TFH is getting really excited about the return of sweet potatoes and butternut squash to her plate.  Whatever your fall food traditions, it's fun to start thinking of them and building the anticipation.

photo by Micky

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