Moving Picture Man: Hey, FruHo! I was recently hit over the head with an anvil. Wanna film a TV show based on your blog and pitch it to TV networks?
The Frugal Hostess: Hell to the yes, MPM! When do we start?
MPM: How does next week strike you?
TFH: Sure, I'm in! Someone get me another anvil.
Act Two | The Preparation
Interior shot of house. Close-up on hard wood floors. From the left, a fuzzy image rolls into frame. As the camera focuses, we see that it is a dreaded Dog Hair Tumbleweed. An ominous mood takes hold, and we are left to wonder if the Dog Hair Tumbleweed can be vanquished.
~
Close up on dingy gray fuzzy slippers. The camera slowly pans upward, and we see The Frugal Hostess place some seemingly disparate items onto a blond wood tray. She shuffles over to the counter, and we watch as she pulls the leaves off of flower stems. Then, with a jarring suddenness, a large Dog Hair Tumbleweed enters the shot.
~
The camera is centered on a white pasta bowl, into which some whole wheat noodles are being placed. Slowly, mushrooms and kale begin to dot the surface of the pasta. We overhear one side of a phone conversation.
TFH: Well, I'm doing a vegan cleanse to prepare for filming. No, no beer or wine either. [pause] Yes, that's right, just vegetables and grain. It's actually not that bad. You sort of stop focusing on food as anything but fuel.
The Dog Hair Tumbleweed nods in agreement.
Act Three | The Production
Moving Picture Man: Uh, where am I? Why is all my camera equipment here, FruHo? And man, why does my head hurt so bad?
The Frugal Hostess: Ummm.
Act Four | The Aftermath
Interior shot of house. Close-up on hard wood floors. From the left, a fuzzy image rolls into frame. As the camera focuses, we see that it is The Frugal Hostess, sprawled on the kitchen floor. In one hand, she holds a gnawed chicken leg; in the other, a 40 oz. bottle of Old English.
***
And that, Fair Reader, is how The Frugal Hostess wound up filming a demo for a possible TV show based on this blog. Yes, this blog. Seriously. You can see some photos on the Facebook page.
The Frugal Hostess is having a meat-dairy-beer extravaganza, just to ensure she has the ever-endearing Carb Face on the next shoot. Please comment. You can also follow on Twitter @frugalhostess or subscribe so that you always know when a new post appears.
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